that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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