Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
