well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I met the friendliest cop last night
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
