Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
So here I am, sexting at work.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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