If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
