Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
