so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
