we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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