ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
