you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
