can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
