i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
