new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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