you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
