omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
