Jerry, you need to find god
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
