I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
