remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
