Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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