this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize