he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
