I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
