I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
