There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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