She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
