I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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