He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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