Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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