My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize