Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
