I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
