just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize