She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
