you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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