I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
