everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
