you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
