When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
