i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
