I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
