he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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