if only i could text you this smell
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
