When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
