You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Randomize