Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
