he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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