After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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