You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
