I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
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