Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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