hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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