I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Damn victory sex feels great
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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