I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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