You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We have so much sex to catch up on
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
