i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
