That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize