Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
