You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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