I wanna bring you to show and tell
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
