Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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