I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
