I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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