I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize