whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
