Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i believe in u and ur pee
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize