I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Life is so much better after having sex.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
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