Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
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