i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
