Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
