Jerry, you need to find god
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
